On the day the Kitchen Nightmares episode was to air, we headed over to Cafe Hon at lunchtime – not just to sample the food apres-Ramsay but to relive our experience as extras during the taping of the show.

Fern and I managed Friday to get seated at the same still-wobbly table we had on the first of the three November evenings when the film crew for the FOX series had been there.

That tale’s worth telling first. We were hoping for a ringside seat in the making of a reality show. We had gotten in by quickly emailing our request, just days after Fox put out the word they were bringing Ramsay to Baltimore.

B-Roll, Please!

We arrived early that chilly evening, having taken care not to dress in loud colors or stripes, as the show’s producers recommended. Outside the restaurant that night, one member of the kitchen staff smoked nervously. “Ramsay hates frozen fish that you thaw out and cook,” he said. “But that’s what all our fish is!”

Fern asked a couple and their teenage son waiting to be seated why they wanted to be on the show. The mother answered that she liked the famously profane Ramsay: “He has such a dirty mouth!”

But Ramsay didn’t even appear to be present on Night One – there was just a cadre of serious staffers with walkie-talkies, boom mikes and TV cameras roaming the restaurant, looking for diners who were reacting to their food.

“How are you enjoying your entrees?” one asked. When we wrinkled our noses and told her the Cajun fish was severely spicy and the Coconut Tilapia was super-sweet, she summoned the film crew.

Apparently our reactions didn’t make the cut. All you can see of us is Fern’s fork twirling some gooey hot crab dip. (You’ll recognize her wrist because she forgot to take her black elastic hair band off of it.) We couldn’t compete with the woman who found a long hair in her food.

Some Kind of Hon-derful?

The small table, we noted Friday as we sat down for lunch, was still jiggly and the food, though improved in places, was still overall pretty blah.

It’s not unusual for a favorite neighborhood restaurant to be a success, with a “modest” menu and meals that are good one night and mediocre the next. It’s like having an aunt we like to visit. We spend a pleasant hour or so, visiting – after all it isn’t just about the food – we talk with our friends at the table and share the room with somewhat familiar faces.

Nothing much is expected of us either. We can have a full meal, apps and a drink or perhaps just desserts. We can come as we are, eat and run, or linger longer than we intended. All in all, not a bad deal.

Some Hon offerings were alright. For instance, we liked one item from the new and slimmed down menu recommended by Chef R., the Crab and Shrimp Salad Sliders.

They had a fresh taste and a hint of dill, though the cold, tasteless rolls were a distraction.

We also tried and liked well enough, the Fried Fish Sandwich. Not great but passable. It is one of several items from the old menu, like the Cream of Crab Soup, that they plan to bring back “now that the show has aired,” our waitress told us.

The seafood chowder, which for some reason can’t be ordered as a “cup,” was served lukewarm and not too flavorful, but loaded with seafood.

The fries were still pretty greasy and bland, I can report. And something seems to have happened to the home-made “Old Bay” potato chips Ramsay had introduced.

They were good when I visited a week ago, but were pretty blah Friday. Too bad, they really brightened up a meal.

I like some of the small dishes, such as the fried oysters and even the coleslaw – but the Cafe Hon salad was quite overdressed the night I had it.

A Chat with Denise

Things may be looking up, though. The price point is good, the premises are large enough to absorb folks who live and work in Hampden as well as tourists.

Toning down the self-referential “hon” touches and getting rid of the merchandise selling area makes the place feel more like it’s reflecting tradition and less like it’s ripping it off.

And we have saved the best for last. Whiting visited our table. After we talked about the show (“They show me 86-ing everything! I just don’t recognize that person!”) we got to the restaurant. She told us she’s thinking of hiring a professional Maryland chef and is trying some out in the kitchen.

Perhaps this person can provide a clear flavor and consistency to their “Bawlmer” home cooking. That is, if he or she is given the menu and given true charge of the kitchen.

And as long as Friday night’s show doesn’t scare away all the prospective candidates.